[Future Event] ==> HomeSick
Roxy thought for a moment. Well, as much thinking as a super knonked out teen can do when being asked really personal questions by her sneaky best friend. “Lol jaeny ur so…. snoppy.” A giggle thrown in there of couse. “Dirk’s like, my homebro. So cooool…. tha’s is though. I wouldn’t fukk him or nuthin. S’like, he’s gotta nice butt butt that’s it. He’s a totes enigmers.”
Drooling a little in her sleep she goes on to say. “He’d be bad for me romantically. Were moirails. S’like, we cover eachothers faults. He’d keep tryin ta change me too much…. I just want someone who love like, Roxy for Roxy. Like Janey does.”
She snorks again. “That’s all I want Janey.” Almost looks like she is about to say more before the topic somehow takes a turn. “What…..about you? Whats ur…type?” She seems to have a BIT of tact remaining in her sleeping form, avoiding the use of Jake’s name directly.
Snoppy? Jane frowned at the word. “Snop” sounded like a lousy sound effect from a low-budget webcomic. Like “snap”, but… derpier. What did snopping have to do with the current situation?
… or perhaps she’d just mispronounced “snoopy”. Jane felt a little bad about doing a modern-day equivalent of the Alternian Inquisition on an unconscious girl who could barely control what came out of her mouth, but she needed answers. And it wasn’t like Roxy would just give them to her while conscious— just earlier, she’d said that she told lies every day. If Jane wanted the truth, she’d have to garner it from Roxy’s unconscious babble.
The truth was, evidently, that Roxy and Dirk were something like humanoid moirails. While it was true that humans generally didn’t seem to grasp the concept of moirallegiance as well as trolls did (hence the sparse romantic contact between the two species) Jane figured that it sounded perfectly reasonable.
But, she wondered, biting her lip in confusion, when had Dirk ever done anything but encourage Roxy’s bad habits? He’d gone ahead and gotten drunk with her, for Arceus’ sake! Sighing, she decided to give that up— there was probably far more going on behind the scenes.
Ugh, she was overthinking this. The point was that Roxy and Dirk were just friends, or really, best friends. It was completely stupid of her, but she was jealous. She had no reason to be; Roxy even said that she liked that Jane loved her for who she was.
That made Jane smile. Even if she wasn’t Roxy’s moirail, she could still be her best galpal. Of course, they wouldn’t quite have the intimacy of moirallegiance, but Jane had always figured that human and troll romance didn’t have any true equivalents. It was completely possible for her to be important in Roxy’s life without necessarily filling one of Roxy’s “quadrants” (a silly concept in and of itself, humans didn’t have quadrants!), even if she kind of wanted to be considered the one that Roxy could feelings-jam with.
“That’s probably right,” Jane mused aloud, answering Roxy. “We’d probably be terrible moirails; I can’t imagine you changing. I like you just the way you are, drunkenness and conspiracy theories included. I suppose we’d better stick to bffsies, hoo hoo!”
Even if she thought that the alcoholism should stop, for the sake of Roxy’s health, she had real difficulty picturing a sober Roxy, not hopped up on cold medicine or ridiculous fevers or sugar, even.
“Although,” Jane postulated, “If you just want someone who loves you as you are, I’m sure you’ll have no problem finding a fellow. You’re a very lovable person.”
She punctuated that with a hug. Truly, Roxy was the best of friends.
But, of course, the best of friends were also the most inquisitive of friends, especially when it came to love lives.
“My… type?” Jane frowned. The first person to come to mind was, of course, Jake, but that was unattainable— and certainly, probably, not what Roxy was going for. “I— I’m not really sure?”
She thought for a while, trying to come up with what it was about Jake that she liked exactly.
“I suppose my type would be the one who’s as free as a bird,” Jane finally said. “The type of person who isn’t afraid to adventure, the type of person who seems like they never have a care in the world but to do whatever they want, even if it’s something silly and dangerous like exploring ruins or climbing mountains.”
Jane stopped right there, not sure why she was talking to an unconscious body. She was pretty sure Roxy was drooling on her by now; she couldn’t bring herself to care.
“I don’t know, Roxy,” she sighed, reaching one of her hands up to stroke Roxy’s hair. “You always tell me I’m the responsible one with their feet on the ground. Do you think I’d ever be able to catch someone as free as that?”
She frowned, disliking the train of thought she was following.
“Do you think it would be all right if I kept someone who’s that kind of free tied down?” Jane asked, forgetting that Roxy wasn’t even awake. “I’m always being called a wet blanket. Maybe I shouldn’t even try.”
She hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but Roxy was just so easy to talk to.
Roxy shakes her head in her sleep. “Janey no… ur just as special as Dirky is to me…. ur like… like, my best friend.” She giggles. “Dirky like, helps me out but it’s nothing like hanging out with my best fukkin girlbro.” She pets Janes face erratically, shushing her with the most erratic of face paps. Clearly, not having any of this self pity.
“Now…now u listen hear Janey. Ura… a beautiful gal and… totes not a wet blanket. You just gotta let people be dumb and stupid sometimes is all. Liek… ol’ Roxy here.” She shushes her. “You gotta love people cause their adventurous. You can still be lovin some fukker and not be breakin his balls over the danger. Yanno? You just gotta remember somethin…. an an I’ll tell you what it is…. right the fuck now.”
She moves her face in close, petting Janey still. “Poeple gotta love u four u. Flaws and junk and all. If u don’t find sumone imma fukkin friend marry your ass. Hells to the fucking yeahs.” She giggles a little. “Not gonna let my best fukkin babe depress herself and be alone and shit. Nuhuh.”
There is a little pause in which she slurrs her words and hiccups for some odd reason. She is pretty out of it! But there is an honesty in her tone. One that says she is deadly serious about marrying Jane if all else fails. Like she refuses to let her best friend stay alone forever.
Jane wrinkled her face as Roxy’s hand, still damp with sweat, seemed to molest her visage in what was clearly supposed to be a shoosh-pap. It made her let out a quiet giggle. She appreciated the sentiment that Roxy got across, though— it was, indeed, very nice to know that she was her… “girlbro”, whatever that meant.
It was reassuring. She could put to rest the very idea that Roxy considered Dirk a better friend than she; her worries and envy were completely unfounded. In fact, it would be a good idea to shoot the idea until it was dead, bury it, and place a garlic cross over it so that it didn’t come back as a zombie… or was it a vampire?
Jane shook that metaphor from her mind. Perhaps she should stop watching John’s paranormal films with him when he visited.
Jane sighed and nodded sleepily as Roxy continued to reassure her. It occurred to Jane that Roxy was great at giving advice, even when completely conked out on top of a sofa. She had no idea what she’d do without Roxy. She truly could not imagine going through life without her favorite blonde backing her every step of the way.
She was jolted from her light dozing by Roxy’s face nearing hers. It was admittedly creepy, the way sleeping Roxy could so closely imitate Roxy when awake. Jane wouldn’t have it any other way, though— just one more quirk to love.
“Roxy…” Jane breathed out loud, touched by the gesture. Roxy had offered to marry her if she couldn’t find anyone, and even though it was in her normal, joking manner, Jane could tell she was serious about it. “You really are the best. But, I couldn’t do that to you. You deserve to marry someone you really love. And I’ll be fine by myself; you don’t see Betty Crocker reliant on some chap’s support.”
She squeezed her best friend in an affectionate hug, “I really appreciate that you’ll be there for me, though. You’re truly the greatest.”
Jane just lay there and held Roxy for a little while. What kind of good thing had she done in a previous life to be able to have a friend like this now? There was only one question that she just had to ask before falling asleep herself.
“Roxy,” Jane began, pausing to yawn. “Are you really asleep?”
Jane already knew the answer, but she had to ask as a formality.
Even though it was improbable that anyone could possibly be this coherent in their sleep, Roxy had a way of making the impossible happen.